MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA -- Angle Computer (NASDAQ: AGL) today announced the launch of their new iPhobe offering.
The iPhobe is a humanoid robot that spouts anti-Islamic rhetoric and encourages fear and hatred in an unprecedented variety of ways.
Analysts predict the iPhobe will contribute significantly to Angle's bottom line. "There is a seemingly limitless demand for the kind of entertainment provided by the iPhobe," said Penn Umbra, head of research at Pandora Securities. "And Angle has outdone itself this time in terms of leveraging the lean manufacturing paradigm." The company has previously been successful in relying on offshore manufacturing to supply products at attractive price points. The newest offering requires no manufacturing at all, but simply relies on programming each customer. Angle relies on a large community of third-party programmers, including news networks, pundits, politicians, government officials, and others, who contribute a continuous stream of programming for the iPhobe, including frequent releases of new enhancements. "It's kind of miraculous, actually, that they support the iPhobe at essentially no cost to Angle!" Umbra said.
Angle executives think the iPhobe is a game-changer. "We originally intended to just go to market with a simple app that would run on top of other platforms, but when we saw how easily the iPhobe could be implemented as a stand-alone product, we said, 'Let's go for it!'" said Hal Sapiens, who managed the new initiative. "With an app, the best we could hope for would be to be a mere add-on to an already-existing market -- the military-industrial complex. By introducing this new product, we believe we've actually succeeded in extending the previous market into new territory. We call it the 'military-industrial-Islamophobia complex.' Cool, huh?"
What's next for Angle? "Stay tuned," says Sapiens. "We're just getting started with the iPhobe. The fun is just beginning!"